This is Agonizing. And that interests me SO much..

**This might be icky for some readers. Just warning you**

So this morning was the fun fun dental procedure. I had done a lot of thinking over the weekend about my teeth and how flossing has always been a problem etc. etc. etc., so when I got to the office I laid out my carefully considered reasons for just getting rid of the damn retainers forever, and they took them out while I was numb.

"Numb." It's an interesting concept. Laughing gas and novocaine are a weird combination. At first I thought the gas was going to be my only anaesthetic, which would have been fine, but then they injected my mouth with novocaine anyway, and I had a really trippy couple of hours. I don't think I was ever really "numb," meaning devoid of sensation. I heard sounds in a really funny way, like stereo speakers all around my head, and lights looked very strange to me whenever I opened my eyes. I also had the sensation of a couple of very tiny people (flea-sized people) running around inside my mouth having a light-saber duel, and at one point my brain just kept repeating "Tiny TINY fleas. Tiny TINY sabers" over and over again. (yes, my brain frequently specifies capitalization). And I felt like something large, furry, and warm was being repeatedly wrapped around my head almost to the point of choking me, which wasn't really all that unpleasant. Even pain feels oddly compelling on this stuff. I remember at one point noticing that the tooth they were working on wasn't really numb and it felt like it was being pried out of my mouth with a hot poker. But even this wasn't bad, just interesting. At one point the word "excruciating" crossed my mind and I thought to myself, "This is agonizing. And that interests me SO much."

When I was done I was still unable to move my mouth at all and my lips felt huge. This was the moment that the dental staff chose to have a "conversation" with me about payment, and my side of it was done entirely via scribble. I wanted to holler, "Come on! You deal with people all day who can't talk! Do this before you numb them!" But on the upside I now have a written record of at least my side of the conversation.

Went home, took pills, woke up at 3pm. Teeth are still tender but I feel like the worst has passed. I think tonight I will lay low and get to bed early. It's going to be a short week but a long couple of days.

Sadly my staying in tonight means I will miss Cabaret Vagabond. My friends put it on every once in a while (every couple of months) and it's tonight. Very fun kind of German-tinged variety show that tonight is taking place on a roof in the West Loop. Here's the scoop if any of my sweet-smelling readers want to go:

Cabaret Vagabond
DAS IST KUNST!
Music-Politics-Theatre-Satire-Puppets-Vulgarity

presents:

THE GARDEN OF DELIGHTS

After the tremendous success of our inaugural cabaret in April, we are at it again, and this time the setting could not be more ideal:

We're holding court on a rooftop in the West Loop, that is a sculpture garden and generally one of the most beautiful places in Chicago. So we're gonna rock it out and be vulgar and skanky and inappropriate while making some hot sweaty art.

COME JOIN US!

WHEN: Monday June 30th
Doors at 7:30
Show at 8:00
WHERE:117 N Jefferson
Jefferson & Randolph in the West Loop
CTA: Clinton on the Green Line
$5

21 and over show

Non-smoking venue

Over and out,
kat