Friday, July 28, 2006

Post-move theatricals!

The move is done! As of yesterday I have not only a roof and a door but also a working stove, a phone line, internet access, and groceries! I feel alive!

Constant warring goes on between the landlord and I, however, because the poor sauce simply won't give me a lease. I signed the thing nearly 2 months ago, and after passing it off to his "bookkeeper," the man promised to get a copy to me ASASASAP. That was June 17th. I've since heard the following excuses:
"It's not ready."
"It's ready, but it's at my office, and I don't have it."
"I'll bring it tomorrow" (this was 10 days ago)
"Why do you need it?"
"I haven't started on it yet." (I've seen it , and it's finished).
"I need to get it to my bookkeeper so he can look at it." (this after the "bookkeeper" had already allegedly had it for a month or so).

My favorite is when he behaves as though asking for a copy of my own lease is equivalent for bawling him out at 3 am because he won't build a tennis court on the roof rightfuckingnow. It's like this is the most outlandish, self-indulgent request ever made by a tenant. And he never makes reference or admits to the fact that I've asked him for it 87 million times. Every time I ask him for it it's, "Oh. Your lease? Hmmm...your LEASE..ohhhhh. It's being FedExed to my grandson who isn't born yet from an outpost in Kazakstan. They don't have a fax machine yet, but any day now. I'll sure let you know just as soon as I can."

All together now: "BULLSHIT."

In happier news, I met my across-the-hall neighbor, and she's extremely cool. We had a little commisserate-fest the other night at my kitchen table. Turns out she's been here since May and she had to call him every day for two weeks to get a refrigerator and stove put in! Wow!

At least now I can use the net from home and receive snail-mail. (For a long time the landlord wouldn't give anyone keys to the mailboxes). So now I can actually invoice people and actually get their checks when they send them to me! Amazingly, my landlord responded well when I reminded him that I can't really pay rent unless he makes it possible for my to get my paychecks. We're all drawing from the same well here, G-bot.


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